Usually, I would go to the person and try to tell them that I feel that I went the extra mile when necessary and now expect the PROMISED reciprocation. And here's the rub: The person is not mature enough to handle it. Wait I have to go back in time.
Awhile ago, he/she was confronted by a good (read: only) friend regarding some behavior that was deemed questionable if not outright inappropriate. I believe that the friend came to him/her directly because it was the mature thing to do, and I heard an earful behind "the friend's" back and the relationship was severed as far as I know.
Is this emotional blackmail? If I can't tell someone outright that in my opinion their behavior is inappropriate without thinking "well that's the last time he/she will ever talk to me" isn't emotional blackmail exactly what it is?
I have a laundry list of gripes really and can't air them because the maturity level is just not there.
So what do you do? Do you do what you would normally do and let them deal with their own reactions? Normally I would try to say "hey it's not cool for you to plan a whole day for me." or "hey what about how you said that after I did my part to help you out, then you would do this for me?" And then if he/she can't handle it, then so be it?
Vent over
Meanwhile, I am furiously carding this (which looks disturbingly like Morticia Addams hair) Jacob fleece so I can work on blending my stuff for the Tour de Fleece.
Imagine trying to eat your dinner with THAT pile of fluff leaning over behind you at the dining table. It's a lamb fleece and it's heavenly. I'm trying to blend it until it's fairly even by splitting the batts repeatedly and blending with eachother. That makes no sense, but whatever I'm crabby, I'm dieting, and I have PMS and it's really hot, so Pffffffffffffft.
I keep picturing myself whirling in a circle on one leg until I fly apart into pieces like in a fairy tale. Isn't that cool? That's how crabby I am!
Yeah, I tell them what I want to tell them and if they can't handle it, they were obviously not worth my time in the first place. (Not that I write them off completely, but a lot of the girls in my DH's family like to play this "if she really cares she'll try to fix it and I'll pout until she asks what's wrong 67 times" and I don't do that. When they grow TF up, we both move on and either be friends again or not.)
ReplyDeleteYuck. We've all been there. My advice is to do what you would normally do: tell them (politely?) to grow up/hold up their end of the bargain/whatever and they can take it how they want. After all, you have to live with yourself and I'm guessing you can live without them if they're not mature enough to handle it. :)
ReplyDeleteit doesn't sound to me like you describing a friend but a relationship you do not need and are too good for. You deserve better than this type of 'friend'.
ReplyDelete